Monday, 19 May 2008

Chelsea - out to lunch!

The Sock just caught the Monday lunchtime coverage of Chelsea so just a few thorts.

The best thing you can say about presenter Nicky Chapman is that she's not Amanda Holden. Then there was Chris (who he?) a geeza who appeared to still be dressed for his bit part in The Long Good Friday. Exactly who is "Chris" meant to appeal to? If you want someone who looks like a shifty perp then why not ask Shane Ritchie to present it? He can't be out of the Beebs price range these days. Chris extolled the wonders of chrysanthemums - some of which are being preserved using cryogenics! The Sock thinks euthanasia would be more appropriate.

The Sock liked her namesake Arabella's garden which consisted of a rectangular pond. In reality, how long before the exquisite curve of lily pads floating so precisely, spread to form a blob on the surface thus destroying the whole concept and turning it into merely a rectangular pond?

Andy Sturgeon was right to think his patio material showed all the dirt - even before he mentioned it the Sock thought he'd have to give it a good sweep before the judges come round!

The usual ghastly C listers were there - the melted plastic face that is Sian Lloyd, Anne Robinson so botoxed she had difficulty speaking (just one more injection should put us all out of misery then) and others too forgettable to mention.

Oh - the Sock did catch a very forced, embarrassing, little exchange between Nicky and Andy Sturgeon. In one of those 'faux chats' to each other that viewers have come to enjoy so much they explained that some of the smaller gardens were "constructed very cheaply" and that even in the belt tightening days ahead inspiration could be taken from them without pulling on the purse strings too much!!

The Sock says if the poor people can't afford Chelsea they shouldn't have had so many children!

To end on a high note... press the red button on BBC digital from 12.30 am tomorrow and you get 24/7 commentary by Chris Beardshaw!!!

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