Now that the excitement of Chelsea has died down the Sock is turning her mind to her other interests which include the Worshipful Cult of the Spork. Some of you may be asking what is a spork? The Sock has found the following explanations for you...
The official meaning is
Blend of sp(oon sb. + f)ork sb. A proprietary name for a piece of cutlery combining the features of a spoon, fork, (and sometimes, knife). `Spork' is the colloquial term for `Runcible Spoon'
Yet a spork is so much more than just a poor excuse for an eating utensil.
A spork is a perfect metaphor for human existence. It tries to function as both spoon and fork, and because of this dual nature, it fails miserably at both. You cannot have soup with a spork, it is far too shallow; you cannot eat meat with a spork, the prongs are too small.
The Sock has a variety of Sporks.
The metal ones are the more traditional and valuable variety. The plastic ones, which come in a range of colours, were a gift from the manager of an Outdoor Shop in Shrewsbury. The Sock and her constant companion the Bedsock, were about to leave the shop when the Sock noticed a container filled with sporks on the counter. As we all know that Shrewsbury is full of cults, the Sock immediately connected with the manager and gave him the Secret Sign of the Society of the Spork. (For the uninitiated this involves holding your arm out with your hand in such a position as it resembles both spoon and fork at the same time – try it!) Unfortunately the Sock had misjudged the situation and the manager, in a state of alarm, thrust a load of sporks at her screaming “Please, please take them.. for free!”
The Sock is designing a new spork-style obelisk which she hopes will replace the current ones at Berryfields when the new broom sweeps out the old rubbish.