News is breaking that adorable gardening poppet Chris Beardshaw is withdrawing from the contest for Britain's Next Top Gardener. A close friend disclosed that Chris had come under pressure from his family after a group of over hormonal middle-aged women sporting pink dahlias and tarts earrings and chanting "we want to grow your seed" surrounded his country home.
Beardshaw's solicitor later read out the following statement..
"...this has been the latest in a string of stalking incidents. Last summer a London bus carrying a group of women and more than one sock-puppet invaded Chris's water tower home at Tewkesbury. The house was on sale at the time and these people, apparently calling themselves 'The Unofficial Chris Beardshaw Fan Club', gained access on the pretext of being interested buyers. The 'invaders' left £170,000 of damage as they stripped the house (including the bathroom and toilet) of furniture and fittings for 'souvenirs'. Police afterwards said it was clear many of them had been drinking.."
Looking even more 'tired and emotional' than usual Beardshaw's campaign manager, Arabella Sock greeted the news stoically..
"At least he made the short list".
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