Wednesday, 18 June 2008


The mysterious "insider" Black Fingernail reports that Matthew Wilson has been turned down by the BBC for the job as lead presenter for Gardeners' World due to his blatant product endorsements.

The BBC upheld their longstanding position against gardeners advertising as epitomised by the sacking of Percy Thrower in the 1970's and the dropping of Diarmuid Gavin from presenting Chelsea in recent years. Now Wilson has been given the red card.

One insider is said to have remarked "We were prepared for a degree of compromise on the advertising issue, but Matthew's refusal to stop endorsing Betty's cakes and Greek pastries was putting us in a sticky situation."

William Hill has now made naturalist and former World Jet Ski Champion, Terry "Squirrel" Nutkin, favourite to take on the lead presenter's role despite once losing part of his hand to an otter called Elda.


Terry "Squirrel" Nutkin is angered by the derisory offer of the lead role on Gardeners' World, but is unable to give "two fingers" to the proposal . (groan.... ed.)


Anonymous said...

I'm glad in a way.
I could never give my vote to a cad who would leave his cat

emmat said...

What's this about cat-leaving? This could be electoral gold dust to the faltering Joe campaign. Please contact me on my private number.

Arabella Sock said...

Clearly MW was very worried about losing the cat lovers vote and has declared his undying passion for them in the Telegraph today..

The cat in the picture looks just like one of my precious little darlings..

emmat said...

That article is very confusing. Where were the cats? if they were in London to start with, why did they have to get given away when he moved back to London? And if the cats were in Yorkshire, how did they kill the wildlife in London?

I feel like after that st Ives thing: Kits, cats, sacks, wives, how many actually moved to London?

In addition, does that mention of an up-coming "even more transient lifestyle", hint at Stratford Upon Avon?