Friday, 18 July 2008

Arte Y Cowpat

The Sock was deeply touched that at last she has received the acclaim and recognition she truly deserves on Emma T's Indy Blog.

The Sock has been asked to nominate five of the best blogs she reads. This is difficult because as we all know, most blogs are complete rubbish! Therefore it is far more in keeping to list the five most boring blogs the Sock has been unfortunate enough to waste time on!

Before we start on the morass of mediocrity the Sock would like to say that she very much enjoys those blogs that are not only about gardening but give a glimpse into both the writer's life and personality. They share not just their words but something of their real selves. VP achieves this easily, some of Team Sock have felt bereft that James the Hat has been away from his Blackpitts blog for over a week, Simon's Allotment conveys a real bloke with great vegetables!


But enough good blogs already. Here are the Sock's nominations for the Arte Y Cowpat award for most tedious blog so far...

1. The entire BBC Gardener's World blogging team.
Joe and Alys and members of the production team bore you rigid with details of what is likely to appear in the next episode (in the event there ever is one)! THAT IS WHAT THE SOCK BUYS THE RADIO TIMES FOR!!! Joe leads the way in making his blog as dull and scripted as the program itself... and don't EVER refer to Hampton Court as just plain old Hampton again!

2. James Alexander-Sinclair! No, not his own blog. This is for the Gardener's World Magazine site blog which wilts like a clematis in comparison. Worse than that - whilst sneaking in a plug for his own Blackpitt's blog he failed to mention either The S
ea of Immeasurable Gray or Emma's Baklava Shed Coalition in his roll-call of great blogs . Both Emma and the Sock are gutted over this - a sentiment the Sock posted on the site but which seems to have been censored!

3. His Organic Jerkinness. It would appear he doesn't blog but invariably sells his personal stories to the papers thus profiting from what so many give for free!

4. The Sexy Sustainable Stag Beetle Blog. As the author of this is not to be mentioned until next Tuesday at the earliest the Sock can't say anything more about it. (Other than to note that the unnamed person is now so desperate for attention they have resorted to posting on message-boards! see messages 32 and 38).


5. The 'Who ate all the Pies' blog. This blog is from someone calling themselves Reg and professing to live next door to some mad old bat who runs around her garden pretending to be a choo-choo train! The blog appears to be a list of the toings and froings of the filming from the garden next door. As Reg appears to believe that he should have been the primary presenter of this program we must assume that the list is in preparation for some sort of litigation.

After deep deliberation the Sock is awarding the Arte Y Cowpat to (play the music)




29 comments:

VP said...

Arabella - thank you for the plaudit - mwah! And I love your new take on the subject of awards :D

As well as your lost bucket of commas earlier in the week, have you realised you've renamed your blog too?

A big tin of Dulux's finest 'Moonriver' to the person who spots it first...

Arabella Sock said...

Well spotted my Huckleberry Friend! It sorts of fits in with the background so I shall leave it...

emmat said...

I feel Sea of Immeasurable Gray is a very fitting description of the kind of English summer we are having.

I had a dream last night I saw a basking shark! that was good.

I want a link to who ate all the pies!!! Show me the way to the pies!

emmat said...

PS an afterthought

I would quibble about one thing: I really like Alys's blog and I read it a lot. I think she actually does tell you about her own life (her weird beliefs about hair washing, her drunken rampage* at GW live) and her gardening, and I really love that. PLUS I think it's verging on the fantabulous that she takes real care to answer people's comments. And she does excellent newt watch!


* I lied about the drunken rampage. She just said she was a bit hungover.

Fat Rascal said...

Being ever willing to serve I have devised an all-purpose comment so people who don't like this won't have to bother:

Oh Arabella, you're so mean!

I just love (insert name of celeb)!
They're so funny/sexy/clever/knowledgeable/short(delete as appropriate)
I've learnt so much about
allotments/organic jerkins/cakes/pies/hats (delete as appropriate) from them!

I love it myself!

emmat said...

Wish I hadn't wasted my breath, if only I'd waited for fat rascal's helpful shortcut

Arabella Sock said...

Brace yourself Emma... here is a link to the great pie stealer!

http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm102/Arabella-Sock/pies.jpg

Arabella Sock said...

Ladies!!!!!!

VP said...

Oooh, my sides ache!

I did chuckle at your typo too - it is quite fitting! I wonder how many appropriate titles for other blogs can be made by taking away one letter at a time?

emmat said...

Veg Pootling

Anonymous said...

I wish to register an individual protest, thank you anyway Fatrascal.
Anyone who stoops as low as to ridicule the Godmeistergorgeoussensitive Mr Don. should be banned from expressing any further opinions.
If necessary, by force

Crisp Bedsore said...

What!!!! Nearly everyone now sees to have a champion for their cause. Will nobody stand up for Christine?

emmat said...

Having looked (totally illegally) at the IP addresses I can confirm that "anonymous" is actually broadcasting from Peter Seabrook's house. Perhaps Mrs Seabrook has a secret pash for Monty and that's why Mr S is always bitching about jewlry designers?

Pork Chop said...

Not that I'm nitpicking or anything you understand, but I thought that the only left handed Beatle was Paul McCartney!

matthew wilson said...

Can I just say I think this is a fairly low blow. Even though Matthew Wilson does not have a blog, you choose to award Matthew Wilson a spurious cow pat for a blog that you have invented for Matthew Wilson.

Then when Matthew Wilson innocently makes a couple of comments on the BBC Gardening Message Boards regarding a subject that Matthew Wilson has an interest in and, moreover, has written an award winning book about (New Gardening, by Matthew Wilson, pub. Mitchell Beazley, £18.99) you continue to pour scorn on him (Matthew Wilson that is).

If Matthew Wilson were the kind of self promoting narcissist that referred to himself in the third person then I'm sure Matthew Wilson might well deserve such treatment. But as a self effacing, publicity shy gardener Matthew Wilson certainly doesn't.

Are you still not mentioning Matthew Wilson on this blog?

Matthew Wilson

Arabella Sock said...

Oh no!!! Can you believe it! Someone's been on and mentioned him again!!!! Now we will all have to go another week. Why can't people just do as they are told?

VP said...

Yeah - but you've got to admit it was side splittingly funny!

The Black Finger Nail said...

You learn something new everyday!

I didn't know that the Messiah is an alleged self-promoting daffodil. Can we all have one?

Arabella Sock said...

Well I will admit to using just a teensy-weensy bit of artistic licence in suggesting that a certain person had a blog... How else was I going to get the stag beetles into it?

Anyway I'm sure if the certain person were to write a blog about his stag beetles it would be a sure fire winner!!! I might even by the related book, particularly if it had pictures.

Actually I've had a great idea (copywrited) for the person to write a book for children in the form of some stag beetles telling them how to sustain and save the world! I think we could work together on this one!

Arabella Sock said...

OH no! Two mistakes in one comment.
Copyright and buy! I thought I'd get in first.

emmat said...

At times, I just wish daffodils would be a bit more self-promoting. So often they hide themselves away in the long meadow grass, flowering at times of year when you can hardly bear to go out in the garden without at least one fur coat on.

You almost feel as if they do it on purpose so that they don't have to be the centre of attention at Chelsea etc. I just think they are all being very silly and should get themselves out more. It's all very well being self-effacing, but it won't get you on the title sequence of Gardeners' World.

Simon said...

Thanks for the mention Arabella, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about my blog, and makes up for all those mysterious visitors who only stay for 0.00 seconds.

emmat said...

Simon don't take the zero sec visitors personally! They are the googlebots my friend! They are robot searchers sent from servers all over the world to compile Google and other search engines... so they only need to stay 0.00 secs. They are no reason to cry, they help people find your lovely blog! :-)

Simon said...

Thanks for clearing that up Emma, even if the idea of robots crawling all over my blog is a little spooky. I'll put the tissues away now, not that us real blokes cry of course.

Arabella Sock said...

Oh no! Is that what they all are - googlebots! That means I probably only have about ten real visitors to the blog plus the poor person who googled "David Howard Head Gardener Highgrove" only to find that Brian Harvey had taken on the job!

Anonymous said...

And while we are on about visitors....
Mrs Seagrove, Emma!!!!!!???????????????
Snot true

emmat said...

oh go on, humour me. It would make me smile if all of PS's venom towards jewelry designers/ organic gardeners was due to suspicions aroused by Mrs S, Agatha Christie style....

Anonymous said...

I cannot tell a lie!
Even on a surreal blog!
But I'm nearly Mrs S
Married to someone who just doesn't understand the deep bond between Monty and me.
I shall say no more , or I'll get Socked.

emmat said...

"I cannot tell a lie! Even on a surreal blog!" is one of my favourite things I've read all year