The Sock is feeling crotchety again (or should a knitted being be feeling crocheted). Whatever!
This is all due to the blasted ice-cream-van-man playing his toon at top volume! The sound of 'Teddy Bear's Bloody Picnic' slices through the air and jangles the nerves like nails down a chalk board!!! Horrendous. The Sock can hear it start up in the distance getting ever closer until the air is full of "the woods today" to the exclusion of all else even the seagull screams.
So finally having had enough the Sock phoned the council's Environmental Health department. The conversation went like this...
Sock: I'd like to complain about an ice cream van playing Teddy Bear's Picnic at a billion decibels in a quiet residential neighbourhood.
Person: Picnic? I've never heard of it.
Sock (loudly): Teddy Bear's Picnic! How can you not have heard of that?
Person: Well how loud are they playing it?
Sock: Extremely loudly.
Person: Well how long are they playing it for?
Sock: They are playing at least one full verse every few minutes which must contravene the regulations for the amount of time they can play it, which I understand to be 6 seconds.
Person: Well how long is a verse?
Sock: I don't know. Would you like me to sing it for you?
Person: Don't bother I'll look on Youtube.
The Sock got a big surprise today when the Environmental health people phoned back. Trying not to dwell too much on the Teddy Bears Bloody Picnic aspect of things it was established that the Sock probably knew somewhat more about what rules might be being contravened than Person no. 2 did. The Sock was asked to keep a diary of the noise for a few weeks as evidence. By the end of this time any attempt at summer will be over and the ice-cream-van-man will have cleared off for the year. Roll-on winter!
Lobster Massacre - .. In order to become a 'fully fledged' member of my family, all boyfriends I took to meet my increasingly eccentric parents were required to pass an in...
4 years ago