I am really, really upset because I was like using a hedge strimmer on Gardener's World and now people are saying it was like really, really dangerous an accident really, really waiting to happen and a bad example. I mean they are sort of going to report me to the Health and Safety Executive because I was like wearing a loose, flimsy, blouse and I like didn't sort of tie my long and luscious hair back out of the way. Now I really, really don't know what to do.
Arabella says: Dear Alys, You really, really need to get a grip. You should like tell them they are all being really, really sexist because no-one complained about Matthew Wilson with his long hair when he used a chainsaw - although he was like wearing really, really tight trousers!
I'm not really interested in my garden and just use it as a storage facility for other peoples plants. However, for a small fee I agreed to do a slot for Gardener's World about it. Now people are saying it wasn't worth the effort and the garden was small and boring. Frankly I would rather have been on the allotment myself. That's not the point though is it - who are these people to criticise? What right have they got to be bored? It's not like they got a gold at Chelsea is it?
Arabella says: Dear Chelsea West. Sorry I fell asleep during that bit so can't comment.
After six years of training at RADA I finally got a job on Gardeners' World as Joe Swift's off screen friend at the allotment. People only ever get to hear my voice! I am worth so much more than that and could do a better job than the other presenters.
How can I get the BBC to appreciate my acting skills and give me an on screen part?
Arabella says: Dear Mark, it is Mark isn't it? There is only room for one idiot at the allotment and this role has been more than adequately filled. Pretending you don't know what an entymologist is isn't moronic enough. Can I suggest that with your acting skills you might be more suited to pantomime? Or is that what you think you are doing now?
I was deeply hurt to read on a messageboard that Scotsman Ken Smartarse had called me an insufferable fop in a silly hat!
How can I get over this?
Arabella says: Don't you worry James we've sent Jimmy the Sock round to give him a Glasgow kiss. We all loves ya and your hat!
Lobster Massacre - .. In order to become a 'fully fledged' member of my family, all boyfriends I took to meet my increasingly eccentric parents were required to pass an in...
4 years ago