Lobster Massacre - .. In order to become a 'fully fledged' member of my family, all boyfriends I took to meet my increasingly eccentric parents were required to pass an in...
5 years ago
The sun was shining on the day
Shining with all his might
He did his very best to make
The garden green and bright
The muddy brown and sodden grass
Was not a pretty sight
The lawn was wet as wet could be
The borders far from dry
You could not see the sun
Because no sun was in the sky
The seagulls screaming overhead
The only birds to fly
Arabella and her Bedsock love
Were gardening in the flood
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of mud
If this were only cleared away
They said, 'it would be good'
If seven men with seven mops
Swept it for half a year
Do you suppose, the Bedsock said
That they could get it clear?
"I doubt it" Arabella sighed
And shed a bitter tear
'Oh puss cats come and play with us'
Arabella did beseech
A little stroke, a little brush..
The cats played out of reach
We cannot do with more than two
To give a hug to each
The two young kittens hurried up
All eager for the treat
The coats were brushed their ears all washed
Their whiskers clean and neat
The only thing that spoilt the look was horrid muddy feet
Arabella and the Bedsock
Worked on an hour or so
And then they rested on a bench
And both the little puss cats stood
And waited in a row
'The time has come' Arabella said
To talk of many things
Of slugs and snails and vine weevils
Of screeching gulls with wings
And why chasing bees will end in tears
With nasty horrid stings
"Dear cats" said Arabella
You've had a pleasant run!
It's time you left those birds alone!
But birdsong came there none
And this was scarcely odd, because
The cats had eaten every one
Does your cat look like Adolf Hitler? Do you wake up in a cold sweat every night wondering if he's going to up and invade Poland? Does he keep putting his right paw in the air while making a noise that sounds suspiciously like "Sig Miaow"? If so, this is the website for you...