Sunday, 28 June 2009

There's a rat in me trulli what am I gonna do


There are two things the Socks never travel without, one is a duckdown travel pillow from Granny Goose which saves the Socks having to put their heads on lumpy pillows filled with other people's dribble and dead skin (Euw! sorry but it IS true) and the other is an instant mosinet illustrated above (picture from Mosinet's website).

The mosinet is an absolute must! It has travelled all over the world with the Socks and saved them from the narsty mossies from Greece to Australia. It is lightweight, packs flat into your case and you can put it up in less than a minute even singlehanded after 3 or 4 negronis! The double one has been stretched over various kingsized beds but still retains it's shape. When you lie inside it it is like being under a giant cheese dome and you can poke fun at all the mozzies whining around outside "You can't get us you b*st*rds!". It is the best invention ever!

The mosinet only has one possible drawback and that is when you are both zipped inside it and realise there is a spider in there with you!!!! In the ensuing panic and attempts to claw your way out of the net without undoing the side zips, the net usually collapses on top of you. A single push up will restore its shape but the spider will probably disappear in the chaos.

So the Socks are gently slumbering under the net in their trulli with the bedroom doors open to the cool night air when the Sock hears a noise from the living room like a magazine dropping on the floor! She pokes the Bedsock and says

"Wake-up I heard a noise".

The Bedsock gestures with his hand and says "Talk to my face".

"Eh? I just said wake-up I heard a noise".

"TALK TO MY FACE!"

"I AM talking to your face - THERE'S A NOISE!!!!!!"

Then the Sock realises that the Bedsock is displaying his extremely annoying talent of appearing to be awake when he is actually still fast asleep. Years ago when the Socks first moved in together Ma and Pa Sock came to stay and for some reason the Bedsock slept in a sleeping bag on the living room floor. In the morning the parents wanted to breakfast in there so the Sock went in and gave the sleeping Bedsock a nudge with her foot and in return got a scowl and a hand gesture waving her away. By this time Ma and Pa Sock had piled into the room behind her and the Sock again nudged the Bedsock was again given a dismissive hand wave. The third time the Sock gave him a kick and the usually extraordinarily polite Bedsock turned scowling at her and her parents with his hand cupped to his ear and hissed "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M ON THE F*CKING TELEPHONE!!!"

The Sock has digressed so back to the mosinet and the Bedsock finally wakes up properly, hears the rustling noise from the interior room and exits quickly from the mosinet the Sock following rapidly behind not wanting to be left in the net on her own. A gasp from the Bedsock means he has spotted the intruder. Can you guess what it is yet? There is a clue in the post title. There's a little brown rat on the table and it is difficult to say who is most shocked, the rat confronted by two naked Socks or vice versa. It's a stand off but not for long as the Sock sees something furry race out of the kitchen and under the bed. "What shall we do?" shouts the Bedsock "Put some shoes on in case it goes for your feet!" squeals the Sock.

The next half hour is spent with the Socks clad only in trainers tentatively inspecting all the places the rat could be hiding but there is no sign and it is likely the poor scared thing scarpered back out into the garden. It has been in the crisp packet but luckily doesn't appear to have found the Sock's bag of local speciality biscuits which are like the best melt in the mouth macaroons ever.

12 comments:

HappyMouffetard said...

You do seem to enjoy close encounters with the local wildlife when you're on holiday, don't you? I would suggest that if you can be attacked by rats and seagulls in Italy, it's probably not a good idea to go on a safari.

Arabella Sock said...

It's funny you should say that as the Bedsock was thinking next year maybe a safari holiday. Sock's not convinced this is the best of ideas as the Bedsock is even more frightened of snakes than he is of spiders.

VP said...

I've managed to put one of those up with a mossie inside it laughing at me. It doesn't laugh at NAH, 'cos they only go for me.

Before we got one, bedtime consisted of a major mozzie hunt and carnage session before bed. The blighters would still get in and dive bomb me at dawn.

On one memorable Greek holiday, I wrapped myself mummy-like in the bedsheet with a slot just big enough for my nose to poke through. That was enough for one of the blighters to get through and bite all round my eyelids so that my eyes swelled shut! I had to wear sunglasses in the dark for days afterwards owing to 2 resulting black eyes. I got very strange looks wherever I went and NAH was thought to have been the culprit I believe.

Speaking of NAH, he giggles in his sleep. It's most off putting and I'd love to know where he's enjoying himself whilst I'm asleep.

VP said...

WV says undid which is what I'd like to do to the last word in my comment. Asleep should read awake...

Arabella Sock said...

The mozzies got me at an hotel we stayed at on the Amalfi coast on our way down to Puglia. Didn't bother with the net and I woke up to find 3 bites in my belly buttonhole!!!! How on earth it managed that I don't know but it itched like hell.

How incredibly annoying to have someone giggling in their sleep next to you! I can remember when we'd be sunbathing on some beach reading and the Bedsock would suddenly look up from his Terry Pratchett and roar with laughter! It used to really piss me off.

I've done the Mummy thing too and they still get you. Apparently eating marmite is supposed to repel them but I can't eat Marmite any more as it is too yeasty :(

VP said...

Slight problem - I can't stand marmite. NAH loves it of course!

VP said...

We used to go on lots of sailing/ windsurfing holidays and made the mistake of going on a Mark Warner holiday one year. They put on evening 'entertainment', which NAH and I can do without. One of the evenings was a sketch show put together by the sailing team with various guests taking part. They decided to do a mock trial of the resort manager as part of this. I was called as a witness for the prosecution owing to the rather alarming mossie bites all over my legs.

Since having an allotment I've found that red ant bites have a similar effect :(

Juliet said...

I rather like rats (though maybe not in my crisps) and I rarely get bitten by anything, but I do sympathise with you over the unawakenable Bedsock. Romeo rubs his feet together in his sleep and is unable to remember any conversation he has had with me between the hours of 10pm and 5am.

I love the butterfly pictures in the previous post, by the way - I'm still catching up with everything after being away myself (not to anywhere as exotic as Italy, but to my parents' house while we had builders in here).

Have you got the greenhouse up yet? ;)

Arabella Sock said...

VP have you seen Victoria's post about chiggers? There's always something isn't there. :(

Rubbing feet together in his sleep sounds well up on the annoying sleep activity list. The Bedsock used to cook in his sleep - I once found him in the kitchen making the motions of pouring stuff through a strainer into a bowl and then putting it in the fridge. There wasn't actually any strainer or bowl so he was miming them! That's all you need the Bedsock doing Marcel Marceau impersonations when you are trying to sleep.

HappyMouffetard said...

OMG! I've just realised how lucky I am. No sleep related strangeness from SomeBeans, thank goodness! Except when he thought next door's cat had knocked on the front door.

Fat Rascal said...

I was seriously mozzied last night.

They got me in the hand and the leg, the former being on a particularly bony bit which is difficult to scratch.

I have anew gadget which gives a micro electric shock when applied to the bite.

The pain stops you thinking about the itch.

Yolanda Elizabet Heuzen said...

I got bit 23 times the first night of my honeymoon in Greece. By the mozzies, by the mozzies, please get your brain out of the gutter.

That bedsock, chockasock full of fun when asleep! And quite amuzing when awake too it seems. Tell me, did you stuff that Terry Pratchett (the book I mean, not the person) in his mouth or where you able to womanly refrain yourself from doing him an injury?