Yes it's that time of year again... the time of year when the letterbox is clogged with magazines advertising their autumn wares. The Sock's favourite out of these is the Essentials brochure full of 'must haves' you never knew you needed. Something for everyone - even those people who have everything already!
For instance, you may think that James Alexander-Sinclair could want for nothing but you would be wrong! JAS has a bit of a sock fetish and what more could he want than some
hot socks - heat them for a few minutes in the microwave and release the essential oils before donning them (also waterproof socks, energisox, moisturising gel socks, Weekday Socks with days of the week printed on to ensure you don't forget to change them, and Soft Tops which stay up without elastic). That's James' 'C' word pressies sorted already!
For Joe Swift - Hair Grow Plus or Scalp Bloc sun protection. Sometimes the obvious choices still go down well.
For Cleve West - poor Cleve was stuck for hours in a traffic jam on the M23 and was no-doubt kicking himself that he didn't have an Unisex Happy-Pee Frog in his glovebox. After the failure of the Shewee* the Sock has ordered an Uriwell for herself as the Bedsock got fractious on finding his measuring jug in her car for emergency use. Interestingly, Essentials have had a recent run on Uriwells and are awaiting new stock.
For Rachella de Ville - Wobbly Whisky tumblers are sure to amuse her dinner guests for hours... laughing already.
After his success in perfecting pizzas at RHS Hampton Court show this year Matthew Wilson is surely in need of a PizzaDome to give his pizzas an authentic flavour. Don't forget pizza is this years baklava.
How has Alan Titchmarsh survived without a Lav Nav Nightlight - the light on the toilet lid turns on as you approach giving 'sufficient light to enable a perfect aim!' A red light shines when the seat is up and green when it is down.
Sshh... don't tell Ms B but her next pressie will be a 'Musical Cake Slice'. With this amusing little objét Ms B and her guests will be able to sing along to such as 'Happy Birthday', 'Jingle Bells' or 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow'!
Can anyone think of who might want a 'fridge monkey'?
* It was rather a shame that the Sock couldn't get the hang of the Shewee (now available in pink) as for £1.99 you can now buy an extension pipe for it which apparently makes 'aiming easier'. Aiming at what?!!!! Are there women all around the country aiming their Shewees at innocent passersby? The Sock had imagined that the extension pipe was for lobbing out the car window so when one was stuck in a traffic jam one could wee in situ.
Lobster Massacre - .. In order to become a 'fully fledged' member of my family, all boyfriends I took to meet my increasingly eccentric parents were required to pass an in...
3 years ago