Monday, 2 November 2009

Lovely, lovely things

Yes folks it's that Sarah Raven time of year again! That time when we all peruse Sarah's lovely, lovely catalogues full of lovely, lovely things. You know that deep inside you really, really want her Chrimbo decorations so so just go ahead and treat yourselves.

"But what of the poor people?" the Sock hears you all ask. "Surely Christmas is also for the poor people - after all it's not like Mary and Joseph could afford a decent hotel is it..?"

So the Sock is coming to the rescue of the poundland shopping poor people and each week will show you how they too can have lovely, lovely decorations like Sarah's.

Unfortunately Sarah's lovely silver sprayed alliums (at only £12.00) are out of stock but the Sock will demonstrate how you can easily achieve this effect at home.

Step one -cut a dried flowerhead from the garden. If you can't afford alliums a garlic chive head will do as well.

Step two - find the kitten has stolen the chive head the minute you turned your back so go and cut another one.

Step 3 - place the stem in a plant pot of soil to hold the garlic chive head rigid

Step 4 - spray with a can old paint spray that has been kicking around for years - in this case the Sock used black to achieve a 'goth' effect but other colours can be used.

Step 5 - Et voila! A sprayed chive head that will look wonderful on your Christmas table.

Step 6 - Try explaining to the Bedsock why you have got black paint spray all over the wall which will cost a fortune to clean off and repaint.

Next week the Sock will show the poor people how to make a lovely place name for the table for under 99p.


Anonymous said...

Well, I have mixed feelings.
Haven't opened my Sara Raven catalogue yet, it only appeared a few hours ago, but I expect the Sockeratii get special treatment, even with the strike.
The spray on the wall is a statement - of what was, and what it now not.
Very Zen if you ask me.
Little anoncat - well, it's good to get him used to garden related things early - well done

VP said...

Ideas for future editions:

1. How about getting some of that cheap green or brown garden string and showing us poor people how to turn it into a rainbow of different colours OR

2. How to paint our own designer wellies

Great post Arabella - I can supply a vast number of Allium christophii heads for anyone wanting to try your idea at home.

HappyMouffetard said...

I'm afraid I started a bit of a Sarah "lovely things" rant on Twitter last night. I may have got it out of my system now. Your post is just wonderful. As I leafed through my catalogue I just knew that my life would be just so much better if only I had some "lovely things for the house" such as the fern tiles she has "scattered around her house". Come on, who scatters tiles????

Arabella Sock said...

It's not fair! I haven't got my catalogue yet. Boo hoo! Sarah must be part of everyone's pre-Cword consciousness as a friend emailed me to say that she was on the verge of buying a Christmas garland string of beads for nearly £50!

I like the idea of painting our own designer wellies. If only I had some wellies to paint.

Ryan said...

Very topical!

I too was a part of the "Raven" discussion on twitter last night and I was discussing how string from the pound shop is equally as good as "Raven" string in a tin costing £9.50!

I was amazed to see that Allium head costing £12. Saw that on the website yesterday. Ordinarily you could buy 20 bulbs for under £5, grow them, enjoy them and then spray them! So much more value.

But then again maybe my logic is just too straight forward?

I can't wait for the next post!


Arabella Sock said...

How astonishing Ryan. By an amazing coincidence I started blogging about Sarah Raven twine as early as last August even comparing it with the price of twine in Australia last November.

The Sock is always the first past the post in these matters.

VP said...

No problem - I can supply the wellies. The previous allotment holder left me a pair ready and waiting in the shed when I took over the plot.

Victoria said...

Very funny post, Arabella. Could I put in a word for Nutscene twine? It's half the price of the Raven stuff and made in Scotland (Forfar to be exact) by the same firm for 76 years. They even sell refills for their tins of twine.

Yan said...

I've just been having an enjoyable few minutes looking at all the Lovely Things on-line and happily gasping 'No!' 'Ridiculous!' 'Oh, really!' 'How could anyone ...' etc etc

Then I saw the Luxury Hot Water Bottle - obviously modelled on New Kitten. £35!!! Now speechless.

Arabella Sock said...

OHMIGOD! I just checked my post about Sarah's string from last September


She was selling twine in the shop for £7.50 which I think was Nutscene twine. Now she is selling her own brand similar looking tinned twine for £9.50! What a businesswoman to increase her price over 20% in a recession. Of course she may be selling a greater length of twine for that.

BensGarden said...

The worst offender by far is the clear glass beaded ring. At only £7 a pop many people think of these 3cm rings are entirely disposable and chuck them out soon as 12th night is over, they then cause limitless damage to the local population of geese, ducks, marmosets, etc. who like to wear them as chic little chokers. For shame Sarah.

easygardener said...

I must go and look at this catalogue - but being a poor person perhaps I shouldn't.
Like VP I would be keen on DIY instructions for designer wellies.

jro said...

Enamel paint should work on wellies, for a year or two anyway.

I bought twine from the pound shop for the first time this year, and remembered arabella's post from last year as I did so!

The £1 twine is thicker and stronger than the expensive stuff someone bought me as a birthday present, which came in a tin with a hole in the top and lots of coloured plant labels inside as well. Heaven knows what that cost.

My mother used to spray bolted leek heads with gold and silver spray when I was little. She would then use them as a table centre decoration. Once we all left the table and she forgot to blow the candles out, everything on the table went up in flames! The most exciting Christmas we ever had, as I recall.

aspidistra said...

That is just a brilliant work of art, oh talented one, but I feel it was wrong to practise using the black spray first on your plain grey kitty.
Going a bit off topic, haven't caught up on the kitty naming thing, but I think Anon has put his/her paw on it, talking about little anoncat - how about calling it Anonymouse, or Anonymuss or similar? Has a certain ring to it, although not quite Greek goddish.

jro said...