Wednesday, 27 February 2013

A Senator Writes - Part II

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Arabella answers further correspondence from America

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Dear Friend, 
 
This week I had the privilege as your Senator to attend the State of the Union. But unfortunately, we knew what President Obama was going to say even before he started speaking. If you didn’t watch, I’ll give you a hint: it starts with “more” and ends with “spending.” 
 
On the positive side, I think President Obama focused on the right central theme – creating jobs. That’s probably because we actually had negative economic growth last quarter with unemployment still around eight percent. But I think everything he’s talking about is the same-old, same-old – more government programs and 'investment' … code word for spending. For instance, if you look at how he wants to avoid sequestration, it’s more taxes and more spending. 
 
[blah... blah... blah..]

Of course many other important issues were discussed in the State of the Union, and I’m genuinely interested in hearing your thoughts on those and any other issues important to you. Please contact me with your ideas at any of my state offices or in my Washington office.


Sincerely,
David Vitter
United States Senator

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Dear David

How nice to hear from you again, I do so enjoy our little chats. 

Barack Obama - crazy name, crazy guy huh? I didn't really understand what you thought he was going to say but at least he is fit (I think you say "hot" in the US) particularly compared with our leader, the whey-faced Cameron, who is the sort that would have been called dough-boy at school but has now grown out of the slightly flaccid look.

Anyway the big news from here is the tragic closure of 'Mustardland' - the name given to The Archers BBC Messageboard.  The Archers is a long running radio programme about a small somewhat incestuous village community, this is commented on by the posters of 'Mustardland' which is a small somewhat incestuous messageboard community.  No doubt you'd be familiar with those kind of communities living in Louisiana.  Sadly some of the comments about The Archers got a teensy little bit negative and the BBC, in its infinite post-Saville wisdom, has done the only thing that can ever be done with nay-sayers - taken away their platform of protest!  

Many of the Mustardlanders have written to their MPs to demand that this valuable resource, which they pay for out of their licence fees (that is the ones who actually pay, not the ones living abroad who don't pay but still listen online, which is quite frankly a disgrace - we know who you are!!!!)  be kept open and there are various petitions to No. 10 and so forth being put forward. Even the Daily Fail has stepped in to bemoan the fact that the Mustardland community, many of whom are regular Fail readers, has been left virtually homeless.  

 I wonder, in your capacity of US Senator, could you possibly have a word with Obama about it?  I'm sure if he leant on the Beeb a bit he could persuade them to think again about this piss poor decision.  Not since Nigel Pargetter fell off the roof has there been such misery in Mustardland and to make matters worse, a week after announcing the closure of the boards, they also killed off Wolfgang!

One thing that did strike me as rather amusing was that The Archers producers are always very keen on 'mash-ups', so should your President be able to visit the Ambridge community at this time it could be billed as "Obama Llama Drama"   LOLZ!

Looking forward to your next letter

Warmest Regards
Arabella

4 comments:

VP said...

Getting these emails is a bloggers dream :)

So, yet another BBC Message Board bites the dust. Austerity measures are biting deep.

pianolearner said...

Obama Llama drama is absolutely inspired :))))

janerowena said...

He doesn't appear to be listening to any of his constituents, does he? Does anyone at all read his emails? The only stray emails I get are from an old music teacher of my son's telling me to come to rehearsal in Winchester on Tuesday nights.

Arabella Sock said...

It's very odd that with that particular email address I get three different lots of people sending misdirected mail to it. It's usually because they have missed a "." out of the name in the email address - one lot of people from the UK kept sending me confidential emails and documentation and after I had pointed this out several times I got a snitty email back with the private telephone number of the person who should have received the email telling me to sort it out!!!

The emails from the Senator are clearly mass mailings and are quite interesting. Much as I don't agree with the politics it at least shows more effort than many of our MPs put in!