Thursday, 6 January 2011

Separated at Birth!


Has anyone else noticed the astonishing resemblance between rugged garden god Matthew Wilson and X-Factor heartthrob, ageing lothario Wagner?


JamesA-S said...

I thought the Sock's New Year resolution was to be warm and kind to small animals, Crustaceans and Matthew Wilson?
Your resolve lasted an admirable short time!

You are,. of course, absolutely right. They used to play in the same Deutsche Disco-Funk band in the early 1990s. Their greatest hit was an Electro version of Two Little Boys where MW and Wagner wore Lederhosen. Very small Lederhosen.

They have matching tattoos of Helmut Kohl on their upper arms.

Arabella Sock said...

I am terribly nice to Matthew Wilson who is a lovely man and when a babe-in-arms was apparently once rocked to sleep by Peter Seabrook!

They say, of course, that all publicity is good publicity but on the other hand it is possible that only you and me find the idea of Matthew in his Lederhosen very fetching.

Yolanda Elizabet Heuzen said...

Obviously NY's resolutions are not what they used to be. Having said that, there is a striking resemblance between the two chaps, bearing in mind that I've only heard of the one (MW) and not at all of the other and have never clapped eyes on both in RL.

matthew wilson said...

What James has modestly failed to mention is that it was he, in his uber alter ego of Sven 'Maximum' Unterlieber, who put Wagner and I together, produced our disco smash and suggested the intimate leather-wear.
In many respects we were the prototype for his subsequent mainstream breakthrough act, The Cheeky Girls.
And, Ms Sock, you are terribly cruel to me and I expect nothing different, despite your protestations to the contrary. Keep up the good work, it helps deflate my otherwise uncontrollable ego....

My Dirty Life said...

*giggles* I have nothing of importance to say....James and Mathew seem to have much knowledge on crap music.I cannot keep up.

JamesA-S said...

Matthew is too kind. Out of all the acts that I have managed (beginning with Cliff Richard in the 1950s) I gave the greatest artistic freedom to MW & Waggers. Separately then were a bit shit but together they were magic.

Eventually we had to part although, it was all a terrible misunderstanding. In order to attract a more heavy metal audience (Waggers was frustrated by their rather camp Euro Disco following - although Matthew never tired of slipping into tight satin and pulling it off again) they decided to emulate Ozzy Osbourne.

It was gig at the Furtwangler Stadium near Coblenz on a wet November night. After the third number (a stirring cover version of Andy Williams' Hawaiian Wedding Song': with Matthew's massive Organ centre stage) Wagner strode to front of the stage and took a bite out of a bat.

Sadly being German something was lost in translation and, rather than a winged mammal, it was a Cricket Bat. The damage to his dentition was sadly incurable and, as we all know, Matthew demands complete perfection from all his partners.

They never spoke again and music lost one of its greatest ever partnerships. Even when MW was invited by Simon Cowell to be one of the judges on X Factor he refused as he could not face his former partner again.

Were they more than just colleagues? Nobody knows for sure and I suspect it is something that Matthew is saving for his autobiography.

Matthew Wilson said...

I often weep when I think of Coblenz. The humanity, the humanity.

JamesA-S said...

You say you weep now, Matthew Wilson. But you weren't weeping when I saw you heading off down the Rhine in your yacht accompanied by seventeen local virgins and a hamper full of ferrets.

Oh no.

It was not about humanity or tears then it was about maidens in dirndl skirts and their hair in tightly wound pigtails.

My last sight of you that night was in a diaphanous Kaftan with the sharp breeze blowing through your freshly blow dried locks. The mainmast was spliced and all I heard was girlish giggling, the irritated protests of the first ferret and your magnificent tenor singing the first verse of "I'm Henery the Eighth I am, I am"

All that while Wagner knelt on the rain swept quay sobbing through shattered teeth and bleeding gums.

NewShoot said...

I don't know what JA-S is on, but I want some

janerowena said...

I'm going to have nightmares tonight now.