Saturday, 16 February 2013

A Senator Writes Part I


No. 1 in a series of replies to US Senator David Vitter who has been sending unsolicited emails to one of the many Sea of Immeasurable Gravy addresses


Dear Friend,
Like many of you, Mardi Gras is among my favorite Louisiana traditions. Growing up in New Orleans, I even had a job painting floats for Blaine Kern. That’s why, when Dottie Haydel of Haydel's Bakery contacted my office about a problem with their King Cakes, we had to help. We found out a shipment of babies for their King Cakes was stuck at the airport in Los Angeles. As it turns out, the shipment had been mislabeled as "dairy" so there was a hold-up getting it through customs. I'm happy to report that Dottie and Haydel's received them in time for Mardi Gras!

I hope you and your family are enjoying your Mardi Gras traditions – and recovering from Super Bowl Sunday.
Sincerely, David Vitter Signature
David Vitter
United States Senator 
 Dear David Signature
 Thank you for your email regarding Mardi Gras traditions most interesting and may I say how thoroughly I enjoyed your Paul Simon's song about it. 
 In the UK we have a similar tradition -  Burn's Night on 25th January - when we eat haggis drenched in whisky with neeps and tatties.  A haggis is either 'a small one legged mammal found running around in circles on the slopes of the Scottish Highlands' OR 'a mix of sheeps offally bits, spices and porridge wrapped in said sheep's stomach' depending on whether you believe my Dad or not.  Either way we didn't have it on the 25th because the Bedsock had drunk all the whisky (which I wasn't pleased about) and we had to wait until he'd been to Waitrose to buy another bottle of Talisker.  We only shop at Waitrose now as it appears to have less horse in its products than other supermarkets. That having been said it's unlikely that even the sickest old nag would end up in haggis and even it did you'd be pushed to know the difference.  Still as a politician who appears to be promoting a company who puts babies in King Cakes I doubt a bit of horse is going to bother you.
We didn't watch the Super Bowl Sunday I'm afraid we're not big on sport chez Sock, well at least not that kind of sport anyway.  I caught the BeyoncĂ© bit on YouTube and was pleased to see there was no wardrobe malfunction this year so well done.
Looking forward to your next epistle
Kind regards
Arabella Sock


Anonymous said...

Great response. what the hell is he on about when he says babies?

Arabella Sock said...

Google being such a marvellous thing I looked up King Cakes, babies, Louisiana and turns out they are not real babies they put in the cake at all - they are plastic ones

What a relief!!!

Anonymous said...

I feel as though I have stepped through the looking glass! Hilarious.

L'epouvantail said...

Won't they all choke on plastic babies? Horsemeat would be much more nutritious.